He was attracted to young men of the lower classes wearing tight, brown trousers, and was especially drawn to cavalrymen. His ultimate desire was to press himself against such men from behind although the morality of his country did not allow such a thing. By the age of twenty-eight, he was neurasthenic because of excessive masturbation.

ask.

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you. .